My despair

The answer... to the ultimate riddle has finally stood upon me.

The reason for my despair, for my sadness, have I been always like this?

I have no option, I have always been like this, I have been forced to live in despair, however a light shined upon me.

Said light made me realize who I am, I was bright, I radiated happy colors, I was happy and full of energy, full of life, the light cleansed the darkness within my heart.

But when the light stopped shinning on me, I returned not only to my despair.

I carried something precious along with me.

It is mine, no one in the world would be able to understand, it is mine, it is my love for her.

It's the curse I have casted into me, no one caused this but myself, it's the curse that will drive me into oblivion.

The execution is coming soon, I seek no salvation, I only seek eternal rest, for those feelings that feed this curse to end my existence.

Because I was not meant to exist, I clinged onto life, I almost became a human being but now I'm a monster who needs to be vanished.

I look forward to the end, it's the reason why I'm still here, because death is amazingly beautiful, to return into nothingness, to become part of the non-sentinent universe.

That is my ultimate fate.